Get Me Off This Horse!

Written: 1999
© Julie Ruffell 1999
Timeline: Season two
Disclaimer: Xena: Warrior Princess is the copyright property of Renaissance Pictures, Universal Studios and Studios USA. This fan fiction story was written for entertainment purposes only.
Description: Gabrielle is not impressed with the local landscape.

"Get Me Off This Horse!"

"Hey Xena, do you want to hear the poem I wrote about our trip?"

The dark haired warrior looked up at her blonde companion who sat upon Argo. Xena was leading the horse, and Gabrielle rode atop, scroll in hand.

"Why not?" Xena replied.

Gabrielle cleared her throat. "'Barren and flat, what a drat.' What do you think?" questioned the bard with heavy sarcasm.

Xena chuckled, though she had to agree with Gabrielle. The land they had traveled for the last two days was deprived of everything except grass and tiny shrubs and was so flat, if Xena stood on her toes, she could see all the way to the next country.

Suddenly Gabrielle slapped her arm. "Got him! Oh you miserable little bloodsucker! This is going to itch for hours! Xena, we've been traveling for two days and the only wildlife we've seen are these damn bugs. I don't think I can afford to feed them anymore. They act like we're the only people in this country for them to eat! Then again, I could understand that because why would anyone in their right mind want to live here?"

"Calm down, Gabrielle. It's getting dark out, do if you keep your eyes open, maybe you'll see some local wildlife."

"I won't hold my breath. I might as well though. It's getting too dark to write, not to mention looking down at my scroll is making me sick and I wouldn't want to lose it on Argo."

Argo whinnied loudly.

"I was kidding Argo. Mostly."

Dropping her hind legs, Argo caused Gabrielle to fall out of the saddle.

"Whoa!" Gabrielle landed hard on her butt and glared at the mare. "That's it! I'm not getting back on that animal. I'll walk!"

Argo snorted and brayed.

"Be nice," Xena instructed the horse.

FIN