Tales From a Street Corner
Written: 2007
© Julie Ruffell 2007
Description: A comedy about a young woman meeting an interesting collection of people while waiting to be picked up at a bus stop in Seattle.
"Tales From a Street Corner"
1 EXT. BUS STOP - DAY
JEWEL walks away from the bus she just arrived on. She looks around, spots a pay phone and walks over to it. She pulls a few coins out of her pocket and tried to locate two American quarters among the Canadian coins. She finds one, but can't find a second.
JEWEL
(grumbling)
Damned American pay phones and their needing two quarters...
She digs into her pocket and finds a second quarter. Putting them in the phone she dials. After three rings, RACHEL answers the phone.
RACHEL (v.o.)
`Bout time.
JEWEL
Ugh. Don't start with me. Damned American border...yes I am going to visit a friend. Heaven forbid I want to see someone I know. Stupid assed --
RACHEL (v.o.)
So where's this station again?
JEWEL
Uh....
Jewel looks around.
JEWEL
In front of Quest Field.
RACHEL (v.o.)
Like that means anything to me...
JEWEL
Well I don't damned well live here!
She looks around some more.
JEWEL
Um...okay...at the corner of King and Second.
RACHEL (v.o.)
Okay, just wait on the corner and I'll be there in fifteen.
JEWEL
`Kay.
Jewel hangs up and walks toe the corner to stand under the street sigh. She looks up.
JEWEL
Wonder if I should have mentioned it was south King and Second...
She pulls out her coins and digs through them again, but she doesn't have anymore US quarters.
JEWEL
(grumbling)
Damned expensive American pay phones. Damned Canadian cell phone not working in damned American country...
She put her hands in her pockets and waits.
2 EXT. RACHEL'S HOUSE - DAY
Rachel walks out of her house and gets in her car.
3 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel looks at a sheet of paper and reads the directions.
RACHEL
Turn left on...wait, what? Stupid assed Mapquest.
She tosses the paper on the passenger seat.
RACHEL
Meh. I'll figure it out.
She starts the car.
4 EXT. RACHEL'S HOUSE - DAY
The car pulls out.
5 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel waits. A HOMELESS MAN walks over to her.
HOMELESS MAN
Got any change?
JEWEL
Uh...not American.
The Homeless Man gives her a nasty look.
HOMELESS MAN
That 'supposed to be funny?
JEWEL
No, I really don't have --
He spits at her feet.
HOMELESS MAN
Bitch.
He moves off. Jewel wears a shocked expression on her face, which turns to one of annoyance.
JEWEL
Damned rude American homeless people...
Jewel continues to wait.
6 EXT. I-5 - DAY
Rachel speeds along on the I-5.
7 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel is looking for her exit. She drives past one.
RACHEL
Oh crap...
8 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel is still waiting. A RELIGIOUS MAN and a RELIGIOUS WOMAN in business suits walk up to her.
RELIGIOUS WOMAN
Excuse me.
Jewel gives them a weary look.
RELIGIOUS WOMAN
Are you waiting for someone?
JEWEL
(cautiously)
Ye-ah....
RELIGIOUS MAN
We used to be waiting for someone...until we found Him.
Jewel gives them an "oh brother" look.
RELIGIOUS WOMAN
We'd like to talk to you about Him.
JEWEL
No, thank you.
RELIGIOUS MAN
You know God will never leave you abandoned on a street corner.
JEWEL
I'm not abandoned, I'm --
RELIGIOUS WOMAN
When you let God in, He is always with you.
JEWEL
I'm really just waiting for --
RELIGIOUS MAN
You don't have to wait. The time can be now. Just let Him in.
JEWEL
(under her breath)
Where are you, Rachel?
RELIGIOUS WOMAN
So, are you ready to let in the Lord?
Jewel straightens up, looks the Religious Woman in the eye and goes completely serious.
JEWEL
Actually...I've already let in Satan.
The Religious Man and Woman balk.
JEWEL
Yeah, that's right, Satan!
Jewel holds up her hands.
JEWEL
I am yours, Dark Prince!
The Religious Man and Woman walk off quickly.
JEWEL
(to herself)
Yeah, that's right, run away damned American bible thumpers.
9 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel is driving around Seattle. She's looking pretty confident now. She notices a sign.
RACHEL
How the hell did Second become Fourth? Damnit!
She looks for a place to turn, but all the streets are "One Way".
RACHEL
Stupid, damned Seattle streets! Arg!
10 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel is still waiting for Rachel. A MUTTERING WOMAN walks by, talking under her breath to herself. Jewel watches her cautiously. The Muttering Woman stops and looks at Jewel, then suddenly screams at the top of her lungs. Jewel jumps about two feet. She looks back at the Muttering Woman and then yells back at her. The Muttering Woman runs off.
Jewel looks totally pissed off and frustrated.
11 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel looks ready to rip the steering wheel off of her car.
RACHEL
Why can't I turn onto Second!? I hate Seattle!
12 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel continues to wait. A middle aged VETERAN walks over to her. Jewel groans.
JEWEL
(to herself)
For cryin' --
VETERAN
Excuse me, ma'am.
JEWEL
What?
VETERAN
Ma'am, I'm a veteran. I just hand surgery on my eye --
He points to his eye, which looks completely fine.
VETERAN (CON'T)
--and I need a place to rest. I'm trying to save up for a motel for the week and it's two --
JEWEL
I'm sorry, but I don't have any --
VETERAN
Please, ma'am. Any little bit will help. I fought for our country and --
JEWEL
(to herself)
Not my country...
VETERAN (CON'T)
--and I just need a little help.
JEWEL
I'm really sorry, but I honestly don't have any American cash on me.
She points to the bus station.
JEWEL
I'm visiting from Canada.
VETERAN
Ma'am, my leg is in a lot of pain and I just need --
JEWEL
I thought you just had surgery on your eye.
VETERAN
My eye and my leg and they both hurt a lot.
JEWEL
Well, like I said --
Jewel pulls out a five dollar Canadian bill.
JEWEL
See? Canadian play money? It's like a gift certificate to Canada, because it's not much use anywhere else.
VETERAN
Terrorist supporter.
He walks off. Jewel has a "I can't believe he just said that" look on her face.
13 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel is driving along, looking really, really pissed off. She drives past the Quest Field.
RACHEL
Damnit!
14 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel is waiting. Jewel is still waiting for Rachel. A DRUNK stumbles past Jewel. He stops at the corner and starts peeing. Jewel is completely horrified and isn't sure where to place her eyes - she's both disgusted and wants to look away, but also shocked and can't help watching. She looks around to see if anyone else is noticing this, but no seems to care.
15 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel is still driving. She drives past Quest Field.
RACHEL
A-ha!
She looks for a way to turn in as she drives past.
RACHEL
No, no, no, no, no...
She has gone way past it.
RACHEL
Son of a bitch!
16 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel continues to wait. A YELLING MAN walks by.
YELLING MAN
Stupid, god-damned, son of a bitch!
He starts kicking garbage cans and newspaper bins and the clanking 'beeps' his swearing.
YELLING MAN
Fu --
Bang!
YELLING MAN (CON'T)
--piece of mother fu --
Bang!
YELLING MAN (CON'T)
--ing shi --
Bang! Jewel looks a little concerned. This guy looks like he's ready to hit someone. Jewel carefully backs out of his way and presses against a wall until he's left.
YELLING MAN
Screw you bastards and your god-damned, bitching, fu --
Bang! He walks around a corner.
JEWEL
I'm going to kill Rachel.
17 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Rachel finds a one way street that works in her favour.
RACHEL
A-ha! Screw you bitches! You're mine!
18 EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
Jewel looks beyond frustrated as she continues to wait. A CONSPIRACY NUT comes up behind Jewel.
CONSPIRACY NUT
Do you want murderers leading this country?
Jewel jumps slightly, having been unaware of the person behind her.
JEWEL
What? Huh?
CONSPIRACY NUT It's the biker gangs. They are putting politicians in their back pockets. These Satan worshippers have cult meetings and plot putting one of their own in the White House. And then where will we be? A murderer running the free world. We can't have that. We can't have that. You should vote for me.
JEWEL
Yeah...su-u-u-u-u-re.
Jewel pauses and then gets an evil smile on her face.
JEWEL
But you know, it's not the biker gangs you have to worry about.
CONSPIRACY NUT
What do you mean?
Jewel leans in and whispers.
JEWEL
It's the alien hybrids.
CONSPIRACY NUT
Aliens?
JEWEL
No, hybrids. They look just like you and me, but they report to Zeloc; which is a planet full of Satan worshippers. They have tiny horns that they try to hide under their hair. You should keep an eye out.
The Conspiracy Nut looks around, as though trying to find one of the hybrids.
CONSPIRACY NUT
I...uh...better go.
The Conspiracy Nut walks off. Jewel looks at the sky and lets out a frustrated sigh. A car pulls up and the window rolls down.
RACHEL
Jewel!
Jewel lowers her head and looks for Rachel, who waves. Jewel walks briskly to the car and gets in the passenger side.
19 INT. RACHEL'S CAR - DAY
Jewel gets in and slams the door.
RACHEL
Sorry, I got lost. I hate Seattle. All the god-damned one way --
JEWEL
Remind me never to agree to wait on a street corner in damned Seattle again.
Rachel gives Jewel a "Huh?" look, but Jewel is looking out the front window and looking none too pleased.
FIN
